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Mothers Day 2012
Remembering MOM
By Connie Schmitt
The sun was shining on the morning of April 11, 2012 …even if I wasn’t. Mom would have been 84 years old today, I sadly reminded myself. Wishing to distract my downheartedness; I decided to drive to the Smoky Hill Trading Post convenience store close to our country home near Kanopolis Lake. KS.
Owners, Connie and George Dickinson, greeted me with a hearty “good morning.” George ventured to the back of the store to check the status of the coffee dispenser as I purchased my vanilla cappuccino from Connie. “How are you doing today?” she asked. “Hanging in there.” I replied.
Ms. Dickinson was always such a nice lady and so easy to talk to and very attentive to the “regulars” who dropped in for gas or drink. At that moment for some strange reason, I just blurted out - “Life can sure be lonely without your Mother.”
Connie looked at me with sympathetic, tender eyes and responded, “Oh, how I know. My mother has been gone for almost ten years and I still miss her terribly.” Blinking back tears, I nodded in agreement. I knew …she knew…the pain I still felt.
With a lump in my throat, I returned to my car. Mom had died almost eight months ago from colon/secondary liver cancer… Yet, “time” had certainly not healed my melancholy.
Scripture promised “Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.” …Lord, I could use a little comforting here.
Sipping on my cappuccino, I drove down the dirt road to Buckeye; the “little cemetery on the Prairie.” I wanted to place the beautiful twig cross covered with dainty flowers wreath I purchased the day before upon her grave. I parked my car along the road and left the motor running with the radio on. I gingerly walked among the resting until I stood at Mom’s place of rest.
“Mom, I miss you so much.” I sighed standing at her headstone. On August 23rd, 2012, my twin brother, Steve, and my older brother, Allen, and I said our final goodbyes. Beneath the bright Kansas sun, she was finally reunited next to Dad. We had lost him 38 years prior at age 49 after a long painful fight with a bone marrow cancer labeled multiple myeloma. On the other side of Mom, their first born daughter, Kathene, who would have been three years older than me. She died at three months old from cystic kidneys. There were no kidney transplants back in those days. Mom sure weathered a lot of storms in life… I sadly thought.
A wave of emotion came over me… “There is so much I miss now that she is gone.”
I miss not being able to call her after a summer storm and ask “how much rain did you get last night?” When the single red cardinal and his mate make an unannounced visit to my window to feast at the birdfeeder; I am reminded of Mom’s seven red wonderful birds gathering at her seed haven below the bird bath on the farm.
“Mom” memories continue to flash across my mind like an old picture show. A Beautiful rose… the smell of a roast in the oven… a John Wayne western… an Elvis song … a baby calf frolicking in the meadow… a spring thunderstorm with lightning dancing across the sky. Will all these “miss her” moments forever tug at my heart? I imagine so.
A childhood memory of me sitting next to Mom in church when I was a little girl and gazing at her hand as I traced it with my fingers. “Lord, will you please hold my hand now?”
There was a calico dress she sewed on the Pfaff machine with determination, love, and stick pins protruding from her mouth. I was so proud of that colorful garment with the cocker spaniel puppy pockets. I demanded to wear the new dress to bed so I would be ready for my trip the next day to the hospital in Lindsborg, KS. A hernia operation was scheduled for me. The result of jumping off the old front porch over the evergreen bush too many times.
I can still hear her approaching steps up the stairs to give me a kiss goodnight. Mom believed in great backrubs and vitamins at bedtime; as so do I. She could cure bad coughs with honey, lemon, and just a “little whiskey.” Applying cow balm on any sore or a chapped body part was another medical marvel of Mom’s.
The smell of her Avon perfume… the sound of the washing machine churning in the kitchen. A guaranteed hug hello and goodbye. I miss the days of sitting at her kitchen table with a candle burning… coffee talk. Making cookies from whatever dough was leftover from what we ate first! I miss her cherry pies, pan rolls, German pancakes, and her strawberry layer cake. I still can hear the sound of her bird clock that chirped at the strike of each hour.
Mom’s legacy of hard work and strong loyalty to family was a wonderful blessing of inheritance. I hope to pay it forward with charity giving, kindness, and shall strive do the same for my children.
I long to make an immediate call to the ear that would always listen… and to hear the genuine concern or joy reflected in her voice agreeing with me.
I miss Mom’s undivided attention. There is no better “personal” physician or wellness advocate like your mother. She could make an expert diagnosis; whether a sick cow or an ailing child. Who will fret and worry over me now? (Oh, for goodness sakes… I am over 50 years old I scolded myself). Mom would still care.
“Mom you were such a wonderful mother; but you were even a better Grandma.” I surmised to myself.
She loved my children with all her heart and would have walked through fire for them. I miss the joy in her eyes when they came to visit. This Mother’s Day; I will hug my daughters, Jennifer and Jessica. But most of all, I will smother my grandchildren, four year old Emilia and two year old Marco, with a blanket of adoration …in remembrance and honor of my Mother.
“Happy Birthday, Mom.” … a voice from within whispered. As I returned to my car from my tearful graveside visit, a song on KLOVE radio was ending with lasting lyrics “…an Angel by Your Side.” I smiled and knew Mom and the Lord were indeed forever near.
“As one who his mother comforts, so I will comfort You.” Isaiah 66:13
About Connie Shmitt
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